so i attempt a more

so i attempt a more present existence.
how often is it, that i stand crunched at the counter making tea in the morning,
hands slow moving and short of breath?

how is it that i greet the morning with such a lack of entusiasm?
these last 7 days or so have felt darker than usual.
a sense of doom if you will.
maybe it's my fear that the world is dying.
that people won't wake in time to realize the grotesque nature of our modern societies.

greed.

i read yesterday that large numbers of brown bears are in danger of survival, because pesticides sprayed are killing off the moths that they feed on.
and the fisherman who stocked the lake with trout so that they might catch BIGGER fish are ruining the salmon population.
and i worry about the fact that 7 hours isn't enough sleep for me.
that i feel like napping in the afternoon.
so, now i will find grace in the lightness of heart.
somewhere.
i can see the brown mass lumbering, filling the earth with slow beauty.
tomorrow night, we will play.
we will play for the spirit of bears.
starving.

Posted by at August 1, 2002 11:35 AM

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