sit and sit and sit
no bicycle today. nor yesterday, nor the day before. it is easy for me to grow quite angry at myself for my laziness. oh but i will pay on my way to idaho. the excuse of grey skies, or the need to do other things. but ultimately, it comes down to the fact that i all too often seem to sit about aimlessly doing nothing. accomplishing nothing. walking from this side of my room to that side and back. then to the kitchen. then back to my room. then to the kitchen. then to the bathroom. back to my room. checking email. the phone. back to the kitchen. and so forth. where does this lack of focus come from, and why is it only here now and then? what is boredom? why do i so effectively waste my time? how pathetic, that i can't find anything to do in this world of countless things. if i'm not careful, this lack of productivity can bring such a sour mood, and hurl me into the depths of a great and unbridled frustration. sometimes, i can't even muster the will to get up from where i sit and make lunch. instead, i sit and sit and sit, growing more and more hungry by the minute. how strange we humans are. how terribly strange. a photo i took from the baybridge while driving. oh, the light. where are you dear light? where are you?
Posted by jeff at June 6, 2003 01:11 PM
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Most of us have to go to work to make a living and therefore don't have a whole lot of time to just sit and sit and sit. I do envy what you have. I wish I had the time to do that.
Posted by: niobe at June 6, 2003 01:24 PM
alas my friend, that depends on how one defines 'making a living' i do indeed have a job, but simply find time {to choose to sit and do nothing or be productive} far more important to the well being of my spirit than money. i have yet to break 12k in a year, but my soul feels infinitely affluent~ the choice is always ours~
Posted by: jeff at June 6, 2003 01:47 PM
What a beautiful photo, so cold and atmospheric with the horizontal blue gradients wonderfully broken yet joined. I've stared at it quite a while now and don't feel guilt for the time spent at all. Thanks.
Don't anxi-ify about the productivity. It's a biorhythm/life-cycle thing. Productivity can be measured in many forms. Kinetic and potential go hand in hand. The seeming non-movement can be a spiritual pre-natal skyscraper or chunnel in progress and gestate for eons before the "big bang."
On the other hand, Prozac Nation awaits. But I have problems with my artist friends "happying" up their productivity...
So when the productivity comes cycling back, you can tell them, "well, I've upped my productivity, now, up yours."
mikey
Posted by: mikey at June 8, 2003 12:18 PM
