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one lost clipping
i have been saving my finger and toenail clippings for some time now. i keep the jar in a drawer in my desk. though i would like to tell you how it all began, this would only serve to justify what is probably perceived by most of you as rather strange and disgusting. which is completely understandable. sometimes, i think i will stop. but i don't. sometimes, i think that i will mail them to someone. ben or christian perhaps. but i don't. sometimes i think i will paint a painting and glue them all over the canvas. but i don't. having done this for more than ten years, the habit itself of clipping, then scraping them into a jar, would probably be rather hard to break. i tend not to tell people about this habit for obvious reasons. actually, i'm not entirely certain why i've decided to make this fact public knowledge at the moment, but it feels necessary for some unforsaken reason. there was a time years ago, during my study of flamenco, when i had to refrain from cutting the nails on my right hand. i recall well feeling a sense of frustration and loss in the fact that i would be getting one fourth less yield out of my work. {if you can call it that} sometimes, i giggle to myself as i scurry about on the floor on my hands and knees, searching for one lost clipping. it is probably one of the most foolish things i ever do on a regular basis. at some point in time, i have somehow talked nearly every {if not every} girlfriend i've had in the last decade, into smelling the jar. which admittedly is almost cruel. and while i confess that the jar smells quite strange, it doesn't really smell bad per say. though i will admit that it does smell fucked up. what i find most perplexing, is the small number of clippings that i have actually compiled. they certainly don't look like a decade's worth of nails. not at all. but then this is entirely new to me. there is no book on the subject. {that i am aware of} i will say though, that if you shake the jar up a bit, they spread out, essentially standing on top of one another and thusly look much more voluminous. but i often find myself rather dissappointed at the small amount of them that i have amassed over time. it seems to me, like i should be keeping them in a giant jar, the size of an infant. somehow, i think they look beautiful in this photo. oh, the things we humans do. good god.
spoke to christian today and he asked my why why why idaho jefferson? wouldn't it make more sense just to go straight up the coast to washington state? vancouver maybe? hmmmmm. we often make the folly in life, of sticking to things not because they feel right, but because we told ourselves that is what we would do. so i ponder and ponder. perhaps hemingway's grave will have to wait. perhaps i am supposed to see that giant sand dunes of southern oregon. thinking thinking thinking.
Posted by jeff at July 1, 2003 09:22 PM
....................................
We humans certainly carry odd habits. My feeling is that collecting nail trimmings is not as strange as some others. Imagine if a man were so inclined as to collect his ejaculate in a jar, or perhaps a woman to collect her menstrual blood. These certainly would seem to be rather extreme examples, but possible, no? Small comforts exist in our inherent need for patterns, be they behavioral, or artistic. With the incredible amount of information processed by our eyes, ears, skin, and mind, patterns are bridges to our browbeaten ids. Traversing these bridges only appears silly to those who lack the creativity, and the dedication to find the materials to build their own.
Posted by: ChinRingDingO at July 2, 2003 08:52 AM
Great Jeff-I once met a strange, eccentric man
who weighed all food and drink to be ingest-
ed, and then weighed his feces and urine to
somehow establish some arcane formula
or ratio of absorption by his personal, unique
metabolism. He stated that this exercise gave
him a sense of security and a deeper understanding of self.--Maybe you could eat
your collection of nail trimmings and after
weighing them, weigh your next several
bowel movements, create your personalized
formula/ratios, and in doing so, discover the deepest and most elusive truths concerning
self and the cosmos.--If the above sounds
sarcastic, gross, satirical, even "off the wall",
please be sure that is precisely the intention,
not quick thoughts filled with "un-intended"
meaning.---But please give your "girl" friends,
past, present and future, a break in not re-
quiring them "smell the roses", as it were,
or the putrified offal from your harmless, albeit
obsessive productions.--Oh yes, most of us
(truly all) have secret and not so secret little
body habits; boogers, scabs, dried skin, sure-
ly come to mind. So it only follows that you
should be praised, at least commended, for
the candid, even courageous effort to let us in
on JP's "body stuff".--But what I, for one, need
now is a more detailed, simile laden descrip-
tion of that odor eminating from the infamous
glass grail that contains bits of the dude called----JEFFREY---Careful, Jeff--oxox-Gordo
Posted by: Gordo at July 2, 2003 10:53 PM
By chance, I bumped into your website and saw this nails bottle. lol
Believe it or not, I used to do that too, but gave up in the end. It was just so damn hard to collect them. I remember myself keeping them in a small plastic bag. lol I cant believe someone out there is actually doing it for real. haha. Propz to ya! I dont have the patience to collect them like you did. lol Well done.
Olive, 04
Posted by: Olive at March 19, 2004 06:34 AM
I'm glad not everyone finds it disgusting , I have been known to keep full toe nails , where they have fallen off after being stamped on, and once kept a finger nail in a matchbox from a girl I fancied. Sick me ? no ! Its a shame I didn't keep them longer , but there was a strange smell that accompanied them .
Posted by: SparX at March 26, 2004 06:04 AM
Methinks some people should get a life.
Even collecting stamps is better than this.
And for all you highbrow types who are now bemoaning me for not appreciating all human behaviour, "Get your own life without feeding off the eccentricities of others"
Ciao
Posted by: Stubar at March 26, 2004 06:48 AM
I once had a friend who ate a toenail clipping we found for 5 dollars. It was a big thick clipping from a big toe, which we found in "the cage" which is the workout room in my school, i.e. dirty, sweaty, etc.
Posted by: jason at August 24, 2004 08:11 PM
Men, I feel so sad right now.
Yesterday, I was joking with a friend about doing the same thing you did, and we thought we were original. The idea came after looking for worthless things to sell on eBay. But now, I see that someone have done it before me. What amaze me, it's that we started today, and later, while browsing www.wtfpeople.com, I found your "experiment"... total hazard... life is weird!
Posted by: Max at August 24, 2004 09:03 PM
to jeff: you are a genius
to blackjack: you are an IDIOT....no one will fall for those horribly nonsensical ads
Posted by: Alex at August 27, 2004 01:44 PM
I thought I was strange for saving ribbons and skin from my girl/friend. (the ribbons were personal belongings...the skin is a long story) But, I guess everyone has a jar full of SOMEthing.
Posted by: ribbonboy at August 27, 2004 02:40 PM
and i thought i was sick because i just eat mine
Posted by: 69poot at August 28, 2004 06:04 AM
Hey, when you die your nails keep growing for a while...so don't forget to take the jar with you.
Also, what kind of girlfriend would go for smelling the jar? They need serious help!
I have seen many strange things on the web, and I believe yours is one of the best.
Posted by: Bonnie at August 28, 2004 11:10 AM
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