what have you become?

last night i dreamt that i was in some terribly strange house, with some terribly strange man, where i found a rather enormous green praying mantis. {another} i attempted to catch it, {upon the strange man's urging} but it was so large that the only container big enough was a brown paper bag. the problem was, that each time i tried to trick it into the bag, it would turn into two amazingly small, flea sized bugs {that incidentally looked nothing like a praying mantis} and scurry away. after much effort, i accidentally squashed and killed one of the tiny ones, then awoke filled with remorse. both upset for having killed the one, and for the other that remained behind. i asked kristina today if she had seen one in "real life" and she said yes as though they were as common to her as ants. last week, i was sitting in a parking lot in concord, and saw my first {as far as i recall} sitting well concealed in a bush. my god, what a beautiful creature. something from another world. playful and yet so dark and powerful. i just sat there and watched it for about a half an hour. and today the heat was with us again. oh, i am still longing for the onset of cold weather. especially so now, as aside from things continuing to fall off of my car, the air-conditioner has broken, and the vent spits nothing but hot air. oh my dear saturn, what have you become?

Posted by jeff at September 18, 2003 11:05 PM

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