the wrong hole
so today, the ride was moving with such grace and strength. it was a fish in water, running the current, for the hills meant nothing to my legs. as i crested the first big ridge, i raised my arms and stretched {yes, i did in my brain pretend that i had just won the tour de france} looking out at the sweeping valley to my left, littered with birds, when a relatively large bug flew into my mouth, and straight down the hole so to speak. i think it was a fly, but may have been a bee. i attempted to cough it back up, but was unsuccessful. it happened so fast. so i laughed and rode on, drinking copious amounts of water in the hopes that it would float down the river into my belly.
but no sir! this little creature went down the wrong hole {in the wrong hole} and i thusly spent the next two hours drinking water and eating nuts hoping to push it down, with minimal success. i coughed and wheezed. a determined little bugger. i pictured some cartoon version of this poor thing's death, all mixed up in the tunnel of my intestines, drowning and burning in stomach fluid. yuck.
i have since showered, eaten lunch, and stretched, but i swear i can still feel it. perhaps it has dug its little bug feet into the walls of my throat and is climbing its own battle in the hills. but we are here with spring. everything just seems to open up. the uncurling of a closed fist. a flower. young deer, on the hillside with their mothers, eating at the trees, their teeth the gentlest of typewriter sounds. the softest of clacking.
Posted by jeff pitcher at March 18, 2004 02:54 PM
....................................
Hey I left a note about your nails bottle just now. I know that picture was ages ago, but still. You might wanna go check back at what I've written. Nice day.
Posted by: Olive at March 19, 2004 06:36 AM
Nothing like living in the past...
Jefferson, take care that the bug does not become embedded in your trachea. A bronchoscopy may be in order.
Stay well
Posted by: ChinRingDingO at March 19, 2004 11:25 AM
i swallowed a foxtail once. second or third grade, i think. very uncomfortable feeling for 3 or 4 days. i could swear i could feel it still there. even periscoped in with this huge proto-fiber-optic thingy, not there. very odd this persistence of feeling...
Posted by: ron at March 19, 2004 04:48 PM
What are you doing mouth breathing? i never would have guessed. John R i see often in my mind's eye, mouth agape.
but Jeff?
Posted by: reader at March 19, 2004 10:48 PM
The guy saves his toenail clippings and I'm the mouthbreather. The guy tricks his girl toys into sniffing them and I'M the mouthbreather (one moment while I catch my breath, it's hard to type and breathe at the same time). The real mouthbreathers are the women that fall for the shite on this site (gotta look into that rap thing!) "Oh jeff! you're so amazing!" "Oh jeff, you fill the void in my head!" pitcher you murdered that poor insect and laugh about it. Cruel. Oh yeah, Deer are grazers not browsers, they eat grass, not trees or shrubs. You did not see deer eating trees. They eat grass and weeds on the floor of the earth. You know I'm right even if nobody else here does. And I am certain that you did not hear their teeth while they ate. Moose, are browsers, elk are grazers with a little browse thrown in. Prong horn antelope are grazers, American bison are grazers, All of the big horn sheep complex (Ovis)are grazers but will occasionally browse, particularly the desert bighorn. Goats are both. I'd guess that you graze.
John Rensing
Posted by: John Rensing at March 20, 2004 09:55 PM
i envy barcelonians for their vespas.
Posted by: crazy lady in barcelona at March 21, 2004 12:50 PM
