it is no longer a "shower"

When one showers but once or twice a week, the entire process takes on a rather intensified glow {as one might imagine}. It is no longer a "shower," but instead, a more "complete experience"…one that involves a walk, and the climbing of a small fence. The decision about whether or not one wishes to shower in the dark or daylight? What shoes does one wear for the event? {pre and post} what does one want from the whole thing? silly questions of course, but the desire to have the best experience possible, when it has become so much less frequent than I would like, is paramount.

So my days become days of work. New songs. Revising less-new, new songs. Writing. Etc. I’ve begun writing a poem and painting a painting each morning, before I create anything else. I’m not quite sure what purpose this has, or what effect yet {if any} but I enjoy the regularity of each activity. Poetry, and painting, are for me, free of many burdens and weights I place on music and other writing that I do. Perhaps this alone makes the task valid. The removal of weight. So many artists have said that a schedule of some sort, regularity, is imperative to their craft. I’ve never had much trouble with being self-disciplined enough to put in the work, but I am constantly trying to push myself to do new things. Or at least do things in a different way than I have done them before. I’m not really sure what this all amounts to, other than feeling good about having accomplished something at the start of my day, but I am enjoying it immensely. So I place the paintings here. Poems at some point.

I have been reluctant to put paintings and poetry here ever since the inception of this journal. Alas, I have been doing both the whole time, and long before as a matter of fact. Why is this? A lack of confidence? I suppose. I have never thought my painting or poetry to be “great” but then, what the hell does that mean? What is great art? And does what comes out in the end, really matter at all if I enjoy the process? Does this have something to do with the "lack of weight?" Big questions, for a man who just really wants to play guitar this morning.

On that note, I should also mention, for you smashing pumpkins fans, that I found a website that has quite simply been a dream come true. For years and years, I collected the b-sides and the rarest of the rare, as I was so stunned and captivated and moved by his songwriting. Anyway, one of the things that I have always been stunned by with Billy Corgan, is both his creative output {quantity} and the quality of his work. From what I understand, all of these downloads are things that he wanted to get out to the public in some way, but couldn’t do so because of his label. Needless to say, I have spent much time gathering the good stuff. You can find the music here.

Billy Corgan himself, also has a website which I have enjoyed pieces of now and then. Go here for that one. Bye.

Posted by jeff pitcher at October 13, 2004 10:00 AM

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