Graduate School. The Guitar. The Hair.
1. Graduate School~ {mfa, creative writing}
{below excerpt from afore-linked interview with Jim Harrison}
Bednarik: You actually provided advice to young writers and said the best thing for them to be was “word drunk.”
Harrison: Word drunk and don’t forget red wine and garlic. Aimless travel. Obsessive reading. Jobs that have nothing to do with written word. It would be better if they worked in a truck garden, growing things, with a knowledge of botany, natural history and so on. That’s all they need—and you certainly don’t need a bloody MFA. Why don’t they just shoot themselves?
Bednarik: I’ve actually guided several young writers away from MFAs.
Harrison: Well, the trouble is it’s a pyramid scheme, to me. The one good thing about the program is that it teaches people to read and they become very intense about it. But these poor folks—it’s a way of delaying your parents’ opprobrium. “I’m continuing on for an MFA, blah blah blah. . .” What could it possibly mean? There are no jobs available for them, it’s sort of humiliating for them. They’ve gone now to college six or seven years; an MFA is worth about as much as a BA in English, which means for a buck you could get a cup of coffee.
I could not agree with Jim Harrison more, and I could certainly go on and on and on about this topic. On and on and on and on and on and on. The truth is that I don’t want to study writing at all, and if anything, I think it would do much to weaken my writing. Suck the life out. It was simply my idea of the most painless way to get a job. MFA = English Teacher at Private School. A job that I don’t think I really want anyway. Ugh. In some way, the whole thing reeks of fear. An absolutely pathetic decision process. All of this, ultimately because I can’t seem to make any money with music, and don’t really want to do anything else with my life. Complicated it is. The answers, slow in presenting themselves. In a way, it was more frustrating to be rejected with option 2 {MFA} than it is with option 1 {music}. So what now, I ask? What does this man who really just wants to spend his life making music do? Keep making music whilst I figure it out I guess. Live.
2. The Guitar~ I will not carry on and on here, but simply put, I have what I believe to be the greatest steel string acoustic guitar that exists in the world. {subjective I know} I have dropped said guitar off at a shop in Toronto to have some work done on the instrument. Not only did I find a great shop, but I also found a man who I have more confidence in his abilities to work on my guitar, than any other luthier/repairman I have ever encountered. This excites me greatly. Deeply. A flood of relief. The repairing of a brace. The fixing of a bridge. A re-furbished nut. A pick-up installed. A custom case ordered. I said I wouldn’t go on.
3. The Hair~ I have not cut my hair for some time. I have been growing it, with the intention of growing it yet more, but it has reached that nearly unacceptable place. I told Keri the other day that I feel like I resemble Don Johnson. It looks horrible. It has even begun to feather above the ears. I look in the mirror and shake my head. I begin wearing a hat daily. Why I think about how miserable my hair looks each time I peer in the mirror is bothersome to me as well.
Trust me though, I am in a bad way.
Posted by jeff pitcher at May 23, 2005 04:46 PM
....................................
Oh dear. But it will pass. Those feelings always do.
Perhaps think of new journeys with the music? Music teacher (do you really need an MFA for that?) Music therapist?
Why not write about music, fiction or non-fiction? Some authors do. Anthony Burgess, Ray Robertson off the top of my head. Music is essential in their writing.
Just wear cheerful hats.
Posted by: patricia at May 23, 2005 06:14 PM
hello... your words hit home with me... so i felt the need to interact with them. if you feel the need for music... then it must be music.... and if you must do something else... then do so.... but don't let it be teaching unless you really want to teach.... do the things that you feel called to- interested in doing (which may be any number of things).... and then i think you work out how to live and survivie and eat and all that in between. that is my opinion anyway. i thank you for your words. i enjoy them much...
Posted by: Jennifer Tillman at May 24, 2005 02:52 AM
Just think, now you are free to do ANYTHING! Graduate school isn't the be all, end all. You can be a writer without an MFA. You can do anything you want. It's all just labels and posturing anyway. I know it sucks when things don't work out, but you are young and free and from what I've read you are going to live in Spain! Who knows what cool music you will make while you are there.
Enjoy the experiences that come your way. And, maybe cut your hair, it will always grow back.
Peace.
Posted by: Milly at May 24, 2005 08:40 AM
I have always thought that you would be the most amazing teacher. You have so many gifts to give. Perhaps it sounds corny but I can't help but imagine you as the Robin Williams of Dead Poets Society, helping to inspire young minds a la Jeff Pitcher. You can be a teacher, a musician, a writer, an artist, a traveler and a husband all at the same time. You don't have to pick just one.
Posted by: Cheryl at May 25, 2005 07:17 PM
Keep making music!!
Posted by: ym at May 27, 2005 06:28 AM
Oh Jeff, cut the hair. This isn't 1992!
Posted by: Annie at May 27, 2005 03:53 PM
"Art school" is for people with no talent that want to be able to show others, "See, I'm an artist. My diploma proves it." You either have it or you don't. Who taught Picasso? I could type an exhaustive list of artist that never stepped foot in a class room. But why bother.
Me...
Posted by: *J*O*H*N*R*E*N*S*I*N*G at May 31, 2005 04:47 PM
Please - enough of Jim Harrison. You keep trying to arrange and rearrange his words to speak to you, looking for a way to solve the riddle of who and what you're supposed to be. The answers are not in that interview; they will never be there.
Word drunk? I know people like that. They can spout endless lines of esoteric crap but are incapable of saying, "I love you." Red wine? An alcoholic will tell you the best thing is for them to stay away from it. Aimless travel? The more you travel, the farther you move from your center. You can't escape from yourself. (and that pile of dirty laundry will still be with you in Spain)
I will agree with Jim Harrison that you don't need a MFA to write. You do need discipline, and your friend, Ben, gave you excellent advice - setting aside three hours a day to write would be a good start. Think! What if you had been accepted to grad school? You'd be writing WAY more than three hours a day!
You've developed tunnel vision from staring at this problem so long. There may be more obvious options that you can't see. If I'd had a great long bicycle adventure and had met a wonderful woman under unusual circumstances, I'd sure as hell be writing a book about it - and throwing in my own illustrations, too.
Paint the world that only you can see.
Sing the song that only you can hear.
Write the story that only you can tell.
Posted by: Kim at June 3, 2005 08:51 AM
Briefly, very briefly: I've invited Jeff to play 2 songs with me and mine tomorrow night (Saturday, June 4) in Sacramento at the Fox & Goose. Come see if you'd like. Info, address, and the like at www.christiankiefer.com.
Best,
CK
Posted by: Christian Kiefer at June 3, 2005 02:29 PM
i am an idiot and i am lead by richard simmons
Posted by: idiot at June 6, 2005 01:07 AM
Wow. Right on, Kim. That's exactly it.
Posted by: Umpy Limpdigger at June 6, 2005 09:19 AM
Have to agree with Kim. Sounds like you've been living a fascinating life, and maybe you just don't know it. And moving to Spain will surely generate some amazing stories. Danny Gregory has done some amazing stuff with journaling his life, and I doubt very much he has an MFA. I think he has at least 3 books published.
Just write from the gut and screw the MFA. For both words and music.
Posted by: patricia at June 6, 2005 05:08 PM
Dude,
Just been listening to some of your tunes.
Totally delicious... I'm bopping along to the Oldham cover and it is evocative of the remarkable David Grey.
Do what your passion is. Live it. Breath it. The rest will come. You do already.
Believe that this is what you were put on the earth to do.
To sing and create music and explore the earth.
Your words and your music are remarkable. Your blog always has me thinking. I marvel at the way you let words sift through your fingers like sand in the wind.
You rock out.
L
Posted by: Leonie at June 10, 2005 03:53 AM
Jeff,
You sum it up here: "In some way, the whole thing reeks of fear."
Ask yourself why you are afraid. Then ask why again. And again. And again. Eventually you will reach the heart of what you are really afraid of and then you will discover something called the truth.
The truth is in YOU.
Posted by: Steph at June 13, 2005 01:43 PM
|
