ahh, jeff, the state of education for our youth in our country is a mess, but not just their education. care for youth has dwindled to such a place that it's not even important. no one fucking thinks twice about it.

teaching, working with disadvantaged and disabled kids, volunteering... all of these things are important and necessary. the work you do, whether you feel frustrated or useless, is still valuable. just because you can't control these kids or make them work doesn't mean they don't know you're there. don't give up on them. don't. rarely do they have anyone else. (more likely they just have a history of one person after another who has given up on them.)

maybe i have a soft spot.

having spent more than a year working in a high-level residential treatment facility (a group home, you know...) i see these kids all the time. mine are younger, maybe (6-12), and come from a variety of backgrounds. their parents did drugs. their parents abused them. their parents raised them on the back patio with dogs from infancy so they could do drugs. the symptoms they present range from simple learning disabilities (think trying to get that one kid to work on the alphabet was hard? multiply it. a lot.) to full on crazy. i have been bitten, scratched, punched, had my hair pulled out, kicked, had various and sundry objects and pieces of furniture thrown at me. i've been called a bitch, a cunt, a whore, an asshole, and on a funnier day, a motherbitch. i have scars. real physical scars that i imagine will never go away. sometimes i have to restrain these kids, hold them down to stop the hitting, kicking, throwing. those kinds of things are never fun. the same way trying to teach children isn't fun for you.

the beauracracy is ridiculous. funding for schools and places like this is limited. provisions and staff are mediocre, at best. do what you can with what you have.

but keep at it. give these kids time, give them a chance, and don't force anything on them, cos they won't take it.

who am i kidding? i have a HUGE soft spot for these kids.

if you give them time, give them a chance, try to trust them and show them you're somebody they can trust (and i don't mean cool, i mean reliable), give them some YOU, one day one of them will hug you. one of them will say thank you. one of them will do what you say when you say to do it. and they will look at you and you will know it was worth the effort.

You know, you're right -- what we're doing to the next generation is an abomination. I've seen for years that the young men and boys of this country are close to being lost. They have no hope. They're full of rage. We're seeing the results in France now. We saw in Columbine. We'll see it even more in the U.S. because nobody cares.

The kid that said that the 1930's sucked was right (the remnants of the Stock Market Crash, the dustbowl, the poverty, the preparation for the Holocaust, the preparation for the Second World War -- it ALL sucked). Did you ever think of basing your remarks on what he said??

You might not like the comments about your dress and your demeanor -- BUT, he was right about your "attitude" wasn't he?? You don't need to wear a three-piece to teach kids -- you only need to LISTEN.

You still RESPOND to the cry for help from these kids. They ALL have something in common when they're in your classroom. LISTEN (really listen -- listen past your judgements on the principal, listen past your exhaustion, listen past your burn-out) and you'll find a way to reach them.

Hugs.

jeff. i hear you loud and clear. i was unemployed for some period of time, broke down and started subbing. hated every minute for the exact same reasons.

now i teach 6th grade band, beginning low brass, and jazz studies at a school. have my own room, my own standards, expectations, etc. it's fantastic.

matt.

you should check out the "foxfire"series of books started by a man named eliot wigginton who landed his first teaching job in the appalachian mountains only to have the kids burn down his schoolhouse the first week of class. he realized they were just not interested in a normal everyday american school curriculum because it didn't reflect their own lives, it didn't inspire them or impassion them at all... so he set out to find something that would. he realized he wanted to teach them how to preserve their own culture so he took them on a variety of roadtrips around their locale to learn how to tie a hog, quilt a quilt, forage for food, build a house, make moon-shine and the importance of oral culture. the kids started a magazine that evolved into the most amazing series of books called FoxFire. You can find them at some used bookstores or order them through amazon in the used section. it's a lesson in listening to kids and then teaching them how to illuminate their own life experiences. inspiring. good luck.

here's the thing: he was NOT right about my "attitude" barbara, as my attitude is not one of complacency or disconnectedness. i wasn't sitting there having given up, i was simply sitting in a way that was physically comfortable. the teachers suggestion that my not presenting myself in an "adult" manner is criminal. i don't believe that if i act in an authoritarian manner, the kids will respond to me better. in some way, my job as an educator is to understand these kids and find a way to communicate with them that they understand. sitting on the desk, or with my feet up, frankly helps them to be less intimidated, and more willing to open up to me. though these kids refused to do their work, they DID thank me for being there. in the end, i know that i am a great teacher and that i impact these kids often in a profound way. really, my problem is that being there for one day, i find that i am more a disciplinarian than a teacher. i guess my ramblings here were in part my way of attempting to grapple with that fact. how do i get in and teach them for a day, when the teacher for whom i'm subbing, has given me instructions that i disagree with? complicated indeed. as for my attitude, you (and the teacher who wants a different image) couldn't be further from the truth.

as for the scars irene, i commend you. i taught art in a juvenile hall and in hunters point for a while...i know that these kids in detention don't begin to compare to the difficulty, but it is challenging nonetheless. ultimately, i find myself so deeply saddened by the lives some of these kids have been subjected to, that i find myself paralyzed.

saturday morning. cold sun. tea. a day of recording.

You could always go the same route that I have chosen...cross over to the dark side. Realize that there is no hope, nothing is going to change for the better, and the universe is a cruel joke. When you look at things from that point of view things no longer seem so horrible in comparison.

On second thought just keep doing what you are doing. The world doesn't need any more miserable bastards like myself.

Love and kisses

Jeff, I wasn't talking about the way that you sat or your hair style or your ability to 'police'.

What came through -- to me -- in your words:

"They will not sit in their seats, they will not watch the movie, they will not stop passing notes. I send two of them to the office. Nothing changes. I give up and read."

"From 8 am until 3:18pm, he wrote in big chicken scratch letters on the page, “the 1930’s sucked. Stupid. Shit.” that's it. i would have had to use physical force to get him to do anything else. i sent him to the office, and they sent him back. The others in the room, just sat there the whole period. They wouldn’t read, they wouldn’t draw, they wouldn’t write, and they didn’t want to listen to me talk about anything. "

"Just a sub, who would prefer to be teaching, not enforcing rules upon children who are failing because the system is failing them. Or reading. Or writing. Or playing music. And so on."

is the picture of someone that is 'fed-up' and 'disillusioned' and close to burn-out.

In your words:

"One child tells me that both his brother and sister are in prison. i feel for him, and wonder why the teachers don't seem to acknowledge this. were it me, i would assign him work dealing with this exact issue. i would ask him why. i would teach him about the oppression in america that leads to so many young black males incarcerated."

I hear the voice of someone that has the instincts and the potential to be a fantastic teacher.

What would have happened in that class if you had gone with your "gut-instinct" instead of the teaching plan??

Barbara

barbara: my "gut instinct" was to ask them to make art relating to these issues. they said "we don't like art." i said "what if i help you?" they said no. i suggested we write poetry together. they wouldn't do it. i attempted to read a short story to them. they wouldn't stop talking. i asked them to stop throwing things at each other and they wouldn't. i could go on. it's not the children that i'm disillusioned with, it is the direction our society is heading, which inherently effects these kids. when i was in school, i wasn't interested in math either, but i was interested in SOMETHING. music. if a teacher asked me to talk to them about something i has passion for, i would have said music. the clash. minor threat. operation ivy. the smiths. when i ask these kids what they care about their response is "nothing." when i ask them what they like to do in their free time, not at school, they say "nothing." sometimes, one of them will say play video games, or smoke weed, or watch tv. i ask them why they like these things. they say "i don't know." ind the end, this is why i called the post "the continued failure of education," because i don't believe these kids are "the problem" i believe that the society and the educational system are "the problem." the reality is, that these kids have been told since a very young age, that they are not smart enough, not good enough, not interesting enough. sadly, this combined with a plethora of great lackings in our post-modern society seems to lead to a great deal of apathy.

trust me, i have worked with many kids whose lives have been fairly miserable, and i've made some great progress and achieved some great results. what frustrates me, is giving so much to these kids, and then asking them, practically begging them to be quiet, ALL DAY LONG. so, on this day, i dropped it. i just decided fuck it...if they won't even shut up for one minute, how can i communicate anything to them, with them. but i don't think it's their fault. quite the contrary. nor is it mine. how can they be expected to have anything other than apathy, in a system that treats them as it does?

the reality is, that these kids need love and attention and someone to listen to them without judging them and someone who can understand and someone who gives a shit. i happen to be that person (i believe) but they also need to develop trust. they have been screwed by "the system" so many times, that when i walk in for one day, or one period, they simply see me as another authoritarian figure. this in some way is a part of the epidemic. if i had a week with these kids or a year (which is why i said i'd rather be teaching them not simply enforcing rules) i think i could change many of them in some really positive ways. which in some sense, only compounds the frustration. the fact that i know i could change them if given time, only exacerbates the issue for me. then, when i attempt to connect with them in ways that their other teachers don't ie: sitting on the desk to create a "less formal environment" or letting them see that i have tattoos (something that they see as 'cool' which helps them to trust me) i am repremanded by "the system" for not being "teacherly." an epidemic indeed.

years ago, i taught art in a juvenile hall. after going through an amazing amount of background checks, and other general nonsense before being hired, i was told the rules. rule #1, the one that they placed the most importance on, was DO NOT TOUCH THE "INMATES." this seemed to me so inhumane, for touch, love, affection, these were likely the things these kids needed most. so on my first day, i walked in and hugged all of the guys. most of them were rather startled by this, as were the guards who reminded me (not very kindly) that touching was unacceptable. in the course of a month, i watched those kids paint, and draw, and cry, and pound their fists at the table, and finally start to get some of their pain out. i was fired after five weeks, for "not following the rules."

once again, the system fails us.

but today is music day. tomorrow more subbing. i always try to approach it with hope, for what else is there?

Hey Jeff-

I taught English Lit at a low-socio-economic, mixed race boys school in London. It was the hardest time of my life, but also the most rewarding.

Here is what I learned (this is stuff I wish someone had told me at Teacher's College:

-go in smiling and relaxed - kids smell fear/nervous energy
-laugh at their bad behaviour (not in a patronising way - just in a "wow - you are so funny" way - it disarms them! if you laugh when they expect you to disapprove they get very confused. When they are confused, they get curious, while they are curious, you have an in-road to connecting with them
-don't try to be their friend - they hate that
-don't attempt to show that you are "on their side" - they have no respect for that
-this doesn't mean that you have to be authoritarian either...the key is to come in from a whole different angle that they can't pigeon-hole
-embrace noise and chaos, keep laughing in the midst of it
-imagine yourself like a curious anthropologist...walk around looking and asking questions, detach from the need to have it 'under control', detach from the real reason you are there
-start conversations with the kids that are about them as interesting human beings, not school (be lighthearted and use their belongings and appearances as cues e.g. if they have a band t-shirt, pretend ignorance and say something goofy about it "Marilyn Manson? but he looks like a guy...how come his name is Marilyn?" Kids love to be experts on stuff adults 'don't know' about, and it gives them a 'neutral' excuse to laugh at you, laughter difuses tension and makes them more interested, awake, attentive
-if you haven't been given adequate teaching material, 'mess up' their expectations by doing something like pushing the desks to the outside of the room, put the chairs in a circle and start a discussion about them, who they are, get them to answer basic questions, draw them out...if you can get them talking they will reveal a lot, including the class politics...
-learn their names - make a performance out of trying to learn their names and even if they refuse to tell you their name, say stuff like "You look like a 'Rufus' no, maybe a 'Rodney" if you say dorky enough names, they will soon reveal their real name! If you then know their names, it makes it a whole lot harder for them to ignore you when you say "What do you think, David?" etc

After about three months of struggle and a lot of behind the scenes tears on my part, I got my students writing poetry (I wrote a unit that mingled and compared Shakespeare and Hip Hop, and showed that Shakespeare was the hip-hop artist of the 1600s), we studied Dead Poets' Society (which they loved - the students against the teachers! suicide! girls! it's got it all) and Romeo and Juliet, using the Leonardo Di Caprio film version, which they loved, and we studied the speeches of Martin Luther King, which they loved. I also taught many things that they hated, resisted and made my life hell while we pushed on through...but the triumphs made these parts fade into the background.

I thought they hated me until one day when I was physically attacked by a student (he smashed a window with a chair, threatened me with a glass shard and threw an electric heater at me, knocking me to the ground and burning my leg) and they came to my aid instantly, instinctively and afterwards were so heartbreakingly concerned and nurturing - I was overwhelmed. They were terrified I was going to leave and many wrote notes to me which they left at the office, telling me why I shouldn't quit.)

These are some of the things that helped me wriggle my way in to some tough, pissed-off classes...I hope some of them are helpful.

Don't give up! The world needs more teachers like you (and me! :) )

Jeff,

I just graduated as a teacher last May, but there are no jobs. I had my first two subbing jobs this week, and I hated them, too. The regular teacher also left me nothing to do with the kids but popped her head back into class (she was away for an in-school meeting) to tell me that her class is never that noisy when SHE is there.

Ugh. I hope I get my own classroom one day.

I agree with you Jeff AND Irene. Maybe instead of talking about what you wish they would do, is it possible to maybe expose them to other inspiring people through documentaries, journals like Dan Eldon's and doing some journaling-showing them its SO much more than writing- I get how incredibly frustrating and disillusioning it must be, but maybe theres still a way somehow to break through. I'm with you, disgusted at the direction our society is headed generally-the indifference, the lack of depth in so many ways, the rudeness- is it possible you also are just in the wrong venue for teaching? Maybe you need to be in a private school setting or magnet public school with more motivated students? Its not your job to change their worlds, though you will with those kids who are open to it. The reality is a lot of these kids are growing up in homes where the kind of values and cultural joys that make life worth living have been absent.
You seem to have so much life in you, so evident in your wonderful writings- you just maybe haven't found your niche yet, but you will.

I often think of going back to my teachers, loved or not, to tell them with my adult mind how their teaching affects.
The fifth grade teacher that read my journal where I wrote.. I discovered a thing called ambidexterous, so I will now practice with my right hand in my journal!!!!.. and replied that I would get an F in handwriting if I did.
Or the 8th grade biology teacher who quenched my desire to be a marine biolgist.. the thing I knew I would always be since I was 7.
The high school teacher who let me take the photo class for units, and to make my own assigments and take photos of whatever inspired me.
Good luck with your subbing against apathy.

Apathy is staggaringly depressing. So is the system. I taught for several years in an urban charter school. I taught third grade--but spent plenty of time with the middle schoolers. The school system as it is creates a trap in so many ways. The situation you wrote about: it's everywhere. And it seems, it always circles back onto the issues of resources, parent education, money...

Every child needs so much one-on-one attention. Many do not get any at home. Because parents are either in jail or working overtime. How can this be changed?

Every child needs teachers who have high expectations for them. But there are too many children in each class. Because the system is paid for by taxes so low income areas have low performing schools. How can this be changed?

Every teacher needs to be acknowledged and rewarded for effective teaching--especially when they teach in high poverty schools. And yet, it is these teachers who are most ignored, stifled with dummy proof curriculum materials and under paid. How can this be changed?

Ahh, this is a first time really reading your blog--it is refreshing to come face to face with issues I care about, from a well written perspective. I love your wife's blog--and your street corner dancing! I'll be back often.

oh man, been there, done that -- subbed at a ymca pre-k (not bad if a bit yuppie 80's-style), then onto the late 90's and public middle school (nightmare), kindergarten (sweet), and headstart (the last straw), i ended up in an argument with the mid school vice-principal, and finally told the school admin office i could not work for a system that diverged so much from my own personal philosophy...i just couldn't do it...i often think tho about going in as a volunteer and doing an edible schoolyard with the local elementary school but just cannot go back to that horrible, stifling, unimaginative classroom structure -- sadly, john taylor gatti is right on in his book "dumbing us down," public ed is a tool which helps create a society of uniform, conformist non-thinking automatons, part of totalitarianism's goal...

I'm also a teacher, and had ample issues with classroom management...until, lo and behold, another teacher turned me on to non-verbal classroom management:

www.michaelgrinder.com

Having not attended your class, Jeff, I hardly want to say that classroom management was the issue--it sounds like several forces were at work and I completely empathize because I've so, so, so been there, and sometimes still struggle. It's frustrating to go in there with the best of intentions and then feel so deflated when there is no response! But the "EnVoy/Seven Gems" stuff really works to get people to sit up and pay attention (even resistant people), and I've used it even with distressing discussions between myself and "adults" to diffuse conflict.

Good luck!